Every year my family asks me what I want for Mothers Day. Every year, I give them the same answer that I learned from my mother. I say, I dont need anything. Of course my family knows Im not serious. Id be very disappointed if they actually didnt give me ANYTHING. So I usually end up with some perfume or smiley-face socks. Thats nice but its not what I really need.

So this year I decided to ask my family for what I really want. Ive asked for gift certificates. But I dont want gift certificates from a store. I want personal gift certificates. Heres what I want:

Step over Certificate

This would allow me to ignore and step over all socks, jackets, shoes and anything else that gets tossed on the floor. I wouldnt be expected to pick up anything. And even better, it would mean that other members of the household would actually have to pick up the items they dropped. They couldnt step over them without seeing them like they normally do.

I Dont Need to Find It Certificate

Why does my family think I have little treasure maps in my head showing the locations of all the items they misplace? When I hear questions that begin, Where are my, I can just show my certificate. Whether its homework, a favorite toy or my husbands tie, I dont have to worry about finding them.

First Seconds Certificate

Im sure youre familiar with the concept of family hold back. Thats when family members (especially moms) offer extra food to someone else even when they want it, in order to make sure everyone else gets their fair share. Thats fine when we pass around the spinach, but when it comes to chocolate cake, I want to be able to show my certificate and go for seconds before anyone else does.

Whining Certificate

This is a two-for-one certificate. If someone else is whining, they must stop when I give them the certificate. Or I can use it when I feel like whining to make everyone else listen to me (and not roll their eyes or make faces).

Refrigerator Clean Up Certificate

Someone else can have the fun of getting rid of the droopy carrots and little bits of leftovers that I was pretty sure no one would eat but I felt that I had to wrap up anyway. And this has to be done before they become unrecognizable science experiments and start to erode the plastic containers that I put them in.

Days Off Certificate

I just want some days where I can relax and have fun with my family without feeling guilty that Im not getting anything done. I want someone else to worry about the wrinkly shirts sitting in the dryer or the blobs of toothpaste hardening on the bathroom sink Most importantly I want other people in the family to take care of these things so I dont have to do twice as much the next day to make up for my day off.

Will I get what I ask for? I hope so, but whether my family gives me a certificate or not, Ive decided to take a few more days off this year to relax with my family. That will be my present to myself.

Dont wait for a certificate. You can cut this page out, hand it to your family and use it as a certificate for you to take a few Days Off too. Thats my present to you. Happy Mothers Day.